


We Looked Like Giants

by intermediacy



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9120727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intermediacy/pseuds/intermediacy
Summary: She's lying on the floor, clutching his shirt to her stone chest, phantom tears spilling down her cheeks. She's broken, fragile in her indestructible state and she's waiting for someone (someone who won't come) to pick up the pieces.





	

  
_"I'll never let you go, if you promise not to fade away."_

Muse - "Starlight"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

She's lying on the floor, clutching his shirt to her stone chest, phantom tears spilling down her cheeks. She's broken, fragile in her indestructible state and she's waiting for someone (someone who won't come) to pick up the pieces. She's lost her heart, lost her reason for surviving, and she prays for death - the permanent kind, the kind you can't wake up from, the kind that doesn't leave you empty and aching every day of your eternal life. Nails dig deeper into the fabric of his shirt (it still smells like him) and sobs rack her body, eyes craving some kind of moisture.

He appears beside her, his anguish multiplied by her own. He can feel it, but he doesn't do anything to change it - at least, not mentally. He lays down beside her, forming his cold body against hers and his arm moves around her waist. She sobs harder as he crushes her body to his own, clinging to the pieces of a girl he used to know. His face buries in the back of her neck, breath cold against her icy skin, and she's struggling to break free. He doesn't let go, doesn't budge, and she finally submits, allowing him to keep his arm around her.

She's not sure how long they stay like that - minutes, hours, days. It doesn't matter. She finally turns to face him, sobs quieted down to hopeless breathing and she buries her face in his chest, Edward's shirt crushed in her fingers. "He's gone," she whispers and feels him nod, his chin moving to rest on her head. "He's gone and he's never coming back."

His head moves and he brushes her hair back, catching a brief scent of what she used to be. "I know," he says softly and he does - Alice is gone, too. He presses his hand to the small of her back, pulls her closer, lets the broken pieces of himself mesh with her. They stay like that, two broken immortals trying to find a place in the world where it doesn't hurt to be alive, doesn't hurt to think, doesn't hurt to be.

  
_"A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at this the same. But all the miles that separate disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face."_

3 Doors Down - "Here Without You"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

Months after Alice and Edward's deaths, Jasper announces he's leaving, needs some time on his own. Carlisle worries that he's not ready, Esme worries that he's never coming home, Bella just worries. He takes very little with him and goes to Canada, Alaska, Europe, anywhere where he feels he might find some sense of peace. He's trying to run from memories of Alice, but he can never seem to run fast enough. They catch up to him (haircuts on women, eye colour, certain clothing, anything relates back to her) and he finally disappears from humanity.

He spends years alone, hunting silently through the woods, losing contact with everything around him. He becomes a savage in the very human sense of the word - living on deer and elk, bears and mountain lions, living in caves and bathing in streams. The memories and images of Alice (forever burnt in his mind) don't fade, but their sharp edges start to blur and he feels like he can breathe again. They start to blend with images of Bella - human, vampire, girl. She begins to crowd his mind, and he welcomes the change.

He shows up on their doorstep one day, disheveled and dirty, but there's a trace of a smile on his face as Bella opens the door. Her arms are around his neck before he can even breathe her name, and he smiles; a wide, real, happy smile that feels wrong on his face, like it doesn't belong. His arms wrap around her waist, pull her cold body close to his (he's no longer afraid of crushing her) and he laughs quietly. 

"I've missed you," he whispers into her hair, hearing her soft cry and knowing that, if it were possible, they'd both be crying right now.

  
_"I sense there's something in the wind that feels like tragedy's at hand... And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me?"_

Fiona Apple - "Sally's Song"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

She knows it's not cheating (not really) and she knows that both Edward and Alice would want them to be happy, but every time she looks at Jasper she feels guilty. It's only been ten years, a brief moment of time in their lives, and she doesn't feel like it's enough. But his eyes, his smile, the sound of his voice (he speaks mostly to her now) sends her cold heart into a beating frenzy. She feels warmth pass through her stone body and she revels in the feeling - it's something other than the ache she's felt for so long.

He feels the same way - she knows he does - and the guilt colours his eyes a darker shade of gold for brief moments as he looks at her, lets their eyes lock. But he touches her hand once, feels the warmth as well, and he knows he won't be able to ignore it for too long. He argues with himself almost constantly ( _Alice wants me to be happy - she'd understand_ ) and he wonders if she maybe didn't see this before she died. Maybe she knew that he'd be with Bella one day, and she was okay with it.

After all, they both knew that happiness with a never-ending span of eternity was something to strive for, to take hold of and never let go. So maybe, **maybe** , he and Bella were supposed to get this second chance, to not let it slip through their fingers.

  
_"We once walked out on the beach and once I almost touched your hand."_

Jimmy Eat World - "If You Don't, Don't"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

There's a beach not too far from their new house, and it's become one of Bella's favourite spots. It's usually empty and cloud-covered, so she doesn't have to worry about running into too many humans. It reminds her of La Push, of simpler times in her life. (She'd be lying if she said she didn't miss Jacob and the other boys.) She goes there to find peace, to listen to the waves whispering against the rocks, the wind blowing against her skin.

Jasper finds her there one day, near the anniversary of Alice and Edward's deaths, and he sits down quietly beside her. She knows he's there, but doesn't turn to look at him. Her eyes, gold fading to black, stare out at the horizon, waiting for a chance to make things better. She's been growing closer to Jasper, enjoying the chance to reconnect with him, but she still feels empty.

He reaches over, his fingers brushing over hers before he takes her hand in his own. She finally turns to look at him, eyes brimming with something he can read but chooses not to. He smiles a friendly smile and rubs the back of her hand, letting her know that he doesn't expect anything from her. He just wants a friend now, someone he can feel connected to. 

She wants more, but she knows neither one is ready yet. Their wounds are still too fresh, too open and they're both too weak to try to heal more quickly.

  
_"I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing."_

Flyleaf - "Fully Alive"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

There's something about Jasper and Bella - even when they're nowhere near one another he can sense her moods. She'll be out taking a walk (she still prefers to take things slow, rather than rushing around everywhere) and she'll find something, perhaps a small rabbit, and he'll feel her sense of contentment. She'll be reminded of Edward when she goes somewhere, maybe a stop at the library, and he'll sense her anguish.

Maybe it's because they connected so much through their loss. Whatever it is, it irritates Bella. She appreciates it at times (hell, it's saved her from doing stupid things many times) but she wishes for just one moment that she'd be able to sit alone and think without him rushing over to check on her. He picks up on that, too, but he doesn't apologize. She thinks maybe he's making up for losing Alice, though he really couldn't do much to save her.

But he never mentions her, never mention Edward, and she sees true concern in his eyes. She wonders if maybe it has nothing at all to do with the lovers they lost, if maybe he just wants her to be okay, to be whole, to be happy.

  
_"I'll be there as soon as I can, but I'm busy mending the broken pieces of the life I had before... Before you."_

Muse - "Unintended"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

She's in his arms and he's humming and, if she didn't know better, she'd swear he was trying to help her get to sleep. The slow, lazy circles his hand creates on her back and the rumbling in his chest (where her head lays) would be enough for her to fall soundly asleep, if she could actually do such a thing. Then the tune turns familiar, and though she hasn't heard the song in years, she instantly recognizes Edward's notes coming from Jasper's throat.

She's out of his arms in seconds, gasping for air that her lungs don't seem to want. (Not that they need it.) The guilt washes through her, replacing the heartbeat she lost so long ago, filling her veins with a terrible sensation. She loses control of her knees, falls to the floor, hands covering her face. 

He's kneeling beside her and reaches out, touching her arm and she pulls away as if she'd been burnt. Nearly black eyes glare up at him, but it's not from hunger - he can feel her guilt, her anger (not at him but at herself) and he pulls away, stands up and backs up towards the wall.

The hollow spot in her chest aches, longs to beat his name ( _EdwardEdwardEdward_ ) and she feels like throwing herself under a truck. He kneels down onto the floor again, eyes watching Bella, tentative and worried that he's lost the one good thing in his life. "I'm sorry," he whispers, the words barely audible in the room but she has no problem hearing them. "Bella," he says, "I wasn't thinking. Please." He wants to reach out, but she shakes her head.

"I need time," she says before leaving the room, the door clicking shut gently behind her.

  
_"You hold me without chains, you keep me without touch. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love."_

Sara Bareilles - "Gravity"  
_______________________________________________  
_______________________________________________

She comes to him one day while he’s reading, Crime and Punishment open on his lap, but he doesn’t look up. He hears her soft footsteps without straining his ears, feels the shift in moods just from her appearance, but he doesn’t acknowledge her. They’ve been playing the silent game for so long (seven months, but who’s counting?) that he doesn’t feel the need to speak.

But she sits down next to him and her hand, still fragile looking, covers the text on the pages. He looks up at Bella then, confusion etched into his marble face as she takes the book away. She folds it gently and sets it in her lap, fingers tracing over the edge of the cover.

“I don’t know how to say this,” she says and he leans forward (not to hear better, but to be closer to her) and she bites her lower lip. She lets out a breath, cold and sweet, and lets her eyes lift to meet his. “Edw- They would want us to be happy, right?” 

Jasper nods, fighting the desire to reach out and take her hand. He can feel her confusion, her fear, but there’s underlying hope and that makes him think maybe there’s something to look forward to. 

“I think,” she pauses again, sets the book beside her on the couch. Her hand moves over tentatively to take his and he can feel the ridges of her fingertips, can almost feel the quickened heartbeat she hasn’t had in years. “I think you’d make me happy.”


End file.
